watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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