His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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