Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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