i barfeds in our rink
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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