Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
