this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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