you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
