Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
