a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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