When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
