Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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