I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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