We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
