my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
