I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
