I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
