went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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