i need an iv and a liver transplant
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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