She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
