you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize