Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
