Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
