Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize