Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
50% drunk capacity currently
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
