Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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