they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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