you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This is the high leading the old right now
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
