you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
