I think my vagina is haunted
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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