how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
