my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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