You smell like stripper and shame
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
