are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
