I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Randomize
