Old men and throwing up are my life now.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
