Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
