how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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