Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
