Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
