you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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