i may or may not be watching the land before time
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
