The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
