OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
