i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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