Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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