I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think my fart just growled at me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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