And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
