So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
