so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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