you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize