Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
