Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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