Porn is love you can see.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
