Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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