Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
