Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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