Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
