The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
