I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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