Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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