Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this boner is exhausting
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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