He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
